Is free will an illusion?

Free will: an illusion?

Yesterday I read an article in the Scientific American that provoked a lot of thought for me. It struck at some of the questions I have been asking myself recently. The article was called Why We Have Free Will, by a Dr. Nahmias, a professor in philosophy and neuroscience at Georgia State University. His article argues for the existance of free will, and includes his refutations of a growing number of his peers' claims that “conscious decision and deliberation happen only after neural gears below the level of our conscious awareness have already determined what we will choose,” or, in other words, our brains make us do it.

Pervasive in scientific thought is the idea that we are merely biochemical puppets.

While the cited studies and scientists Nahmias refuted were clearly full of logical fallacies, the idea itself was something that lodged in my mind and stayed like a piece of grit in the eye. Is free will an illusion?

I work about 10 hours every week with an individual who has Williams syndrome, a genetic disorder with very specific physical and psychological manifestations. While we were together one day, I read a list of Williams syndrome symptoms and discovered that my client's personality and behavior matched every last one of those symptoms to a T. Most of the rest of his ideas and beliefs that couldn't be relegated to Williams Syndrome I could see arising from his environment and upbringing. It was rather shattering to my preconceived notions, especially in regards to agency; previously I'd always believed we were more or less a blank slate on which we had the power to write anything we wanted.

So it brought to my mind this question: if he is that determined by his nature/nurture, just how much am I determined by my own nature/nurture? How much is the whole of humanity determined by their nature/nurture?

This was a disturbing question to ponder. I realized that in a lot of ways my emotional and psychological makeup, and by extension my behaviors, habits and overall lifestyle, have been determined by outside factors. I look at my predispositions, from my homosexuality to my talents with music and writing, and realize that I can't claim much in regards to them. I never chose any of these gifts. They came without my volition. I did not choose where I was born, and to whom. (By I, I refer to my embodied self that currently knows; my pre-existant self may have had some direct choice in the matter, but I don't remember and there's no doctrinal claim to such a concept, so for all intents and purposes it does not matter.) I don't recall waking up and claiming for myself much, if any of the factors and circumstances I currently find myself in.

So...what is free will, then? Where does agency end and fate begin?

LDS.org defines agency as “the gift to choose for ourselves.[1]” I didn't even choose to gain agency, it was given to me, as was basically the rest of my life's circumstances as presently constituted. I discern a paradox. If I have been given the gift to choose for myself, then what did/do I choose? There is so much I cannot choose; there is so much that is outside my will. If my will were truly free, then that means I can claim whatever I want to claim and influence anything I desire to influence; that, logically, is the nature of “Free” will, no? (Free will, meaning do anything I want to do.)

I can't just “do” anything I want to do. I can't circumvent the law of gravity simply because I will it. I can't operate antagonistic to the law without drawing consequences; if I jump off a cliff expecting my will alone to carry me, I will die or seriously injure myself. There is so, so much in this universe that is determined and that I cannot choose.

Then doesn't that mean “free will” is an illusion?

Infinite and Eternal

I think that the answer lies in knowing somewhat the nature of God and our relationship to Him, as described by true doctrines.

Numerous scriptures (Alma 34:14, Psalms 147:5, D&C 20:17 and 28, and Moroni 8:3, for examples) describe Deity as “infinite,” or “eternal.” These words are also used to describe, as in John 6:68, Christ's reward to the faithful: “eternal” life.

Interestingly, Christ, in one of His prayers, refers to life eternal as “knowing Thee, the only true God, and Jesus Christ, whom thou hast sent. [2]” Knowing means, to me, means to be intimately acquainted with, learned about, and in continual communication with.

In other scriptures, Christ promises His followers that if they abide in His word, “ye shall know the truth, and the truth shall set you free.[3]” 

 

There it is in scripture: by following Christ we know the infinite and eternal God. By following Christ we are set free. Knowing God is being set free.

"Free" will....

We are offspring of God

Church doctrine states that we are the literal offspring of God, made in His image, and being the offspring of God have the capacity to become like Him. Not only will following Christ lead us to God and to know Him, it will make us like Him, as stated in Romans 8:16-17: “...Heirs of God, and joint-heirs of Christ, if it so be that we suffer with Him..”

Because He is infinite, and we are His literal offspring; and because the offspring of something has the capacity to become like It. By accepting Life Eternal and knowing God, we are set free; in other words, we become “infinite and eternal.”

Because of this, in my mind, a possibly more appropriate term for “free” will, is “infinite” will, or “eternal” will.

Infinite Beings in a finite sphere: the paradox of man.

Joseph Smith taught that we are “Co-equal (co-eternal) with God himself [4].” Truly, as Stephen Chbosky's character from Perks of Being a Wallflower states in a moment where his reflections reveal it to him: “I swear we were infinite.” It is true. We were infinite. We are infinite. We always will be infinite. We existed for an eternity; the core of our beings is infinite. It existed for an eternity before this life and will exist for an eternity afterwards'

.

And if we accept Christ, then we accept Infinite and Eternal, and become as infinite as they are: completely and entirely untrammeled in our sphere of agency.

And yet, here we are, in a mortal sphere; and by mortal I mean finite. We are extremely limited in our capacities and abilities as mortal beings.

What does that limitation consist of? Oh, genetics, environmental factors, cultural blockages....our minds are bound down by sin and error, our bodies riddled by disease.

Do we currently have free will? Infinite will? Eternal will? Uh, I don't think so. Not so fast, Hubris.

So, does this mean that free will is an illusion, then?

It's not a current reality....

As the Lord states, He has sent us here in part “that I may prove them, whether they will walk in my law, or no [5].” In other words, He has put us in a life where we are weak, finite and mortal, to help us understand how to use our agency so that we may one day live the infinite life He lives, as outlined by His laws.

...but a goal we are reaching for.

This is my personal opinion, but I believe we are limited because this life is a trial run. It is a training ground. We are bound to this mortality with limited agency, to train prepare us for free agency, a far more exceeding and eternal weight of glory wherein we have infinitely increased capacities and abilities in comparison with our current state.

And at the end of it all, if we successfully complete our training and learn how to choose well within the limitations we currently experience, then God will say to us, “Well done, good and faithful servant; thou hast been faithful over a few things, I will make thee ruler over many things: enter thou into the joy of thy lord [6].”

In conclusion, in this life we do not experience free agency. There is so much that abrogates its use that to call it this is quite fallacious. Herein is the limitation of mankind in opposition to his eternal nature.

But because of our natures and our relationship with God, though we are currently limited, we will one day have the capacity to become like Him; Infinite and Eternal. Free agency is not a current gift we have; but it is something we have the capability of developing.

So, then, if it is true that there is much more in this life that is determined by outside factors than isn't....then what can we now choose? And what would the process of developing agency look like?

1: https://www.lds.org/topics/agency?lang=eng

2: John 17:3

3: John 8:32

4: https://www.lds.org/ensign/1971/05/the-king-follett-sermon?lang=eng

5: Exodus 16:4

6: Matthew 25:23

On the Eve of Mercy-- A Poem

On the Eve of Mercy

Before the coming of light

There must be a darkening.

I stand at the banks of twilight

And gaze at my new-starry reflection

While in the waters

The streaked reflection of what was

From red to gray departs, abandoning,
Leaving me stranded in stars.

The eve of mercy descends to a dark night,
Its shadows removing the wounded Earth

of its sins.

It is tonight, the coming night of mercy,

Wherein the cold shepherds shiver

Unknowing, watchful.

I sigh, repeating to myself,
I don't know, I don't know.

My visage cuts cold and straight a face

Out of twinkling reminders,

And especially, that...new star.

I a small shepherd boy, I say to reflected

Stars. What do I know? The cold

Shivers down my spine.

Then with a flash the light

As bright as nova

And the sound of a thousand voices

Of praise, explode my reflection

Into a thousand messy fractals of color and light.

Conversations with a hidden doubt

Conversations with a hidden doubt

With the release of a long-pent sob, I snap the door shut.

It is in the church. The meeting was a success. Outside, from the edges of the door beaming with light, comes the muffled sound of voices full of joy and laughter.

Here, in the dark, the only light is from the orange streetlamps like hellfire, beaming dimly in from curtained windows. All is dyed orange and drab and black shadow.

I kneel to pray, the chair in front of me known only by touch and by its support of my weight. I begin to cry.

How is it, being in the church of my sincere belief, the church of light and truth, that I feel so deep in shadow?

My prayers intensify. The weighted dark presses down with such force as to take the stability of my breath. I close my eyes, willing to shut out the darkness with more darkness, the darkness of my environment with the darkness of my choosing, to be blinded.

Outside, the murmurs of laughter float mocking into the room from the brilliant edges of the door, light and joy together intruding on the sacral dark.

I cannot stand it. I want to scream, but to whom? The God who rebukes for unrighteousness? Is this not unrighteousness, ungratitude, the spirit of backsliding and balking? To the ears of church members and leaders who know it not and need know it not? To the currents of unknowing time that know not and care not?

I heave myself to my feet and stumble to the door. Just outside it is light and hope, deeper burdens than anything darkness could possibly lash upon my back.

I pause, door on the handle. What's the point? I will stumble into the light carrying the darkness with me. Where would it go? It is stuck, jammed gears, clogged toilet, tidally locked planet about an M class star. Fear takes hold. What if they see it, my darkness, my doubt, of which even I have no clue of the origin or end? Worse, what if they ask? I am supposed to be an example of the believers, an active force in the work of salvation, a leader and participant in the great work of the great God. Supposed to be...supposed to be. They will see that I am not what I am supposed to be. Oh, what hell I have built up for myself! A reassuring metal plate about a shifting core of magma and feathers...it is an illusion, an assurance of solidity above supports that have melted in the heat and can no longer do the work of supporting. That damned shell. That damned concrete bubble, solidified by years of seeking approval and positive reinforcement.

I grip the handle, turning my knuckles white. I think of that White Current, the Light of Christ, ever flowing from somewhere, yearning for it to drip into the cracks and carry my pain away, yearning for the flood of proverbial neutrinos from that distant Daystar to interact, for once.

The light and joy intensify their knocking. I grit my teeth. The White Current is always there, it seems. It is a force that never leaves, always communicating the light of a love that lies beyond my comprehension despite my awareness of its presence. Oh, I wish it would step away, and I become a wound in it. To abandon to nihilism, to nothingness....what sweet relief.

But my imploring receives a gentle no. You have a work to do, it reminds me...it? He? Them? What am I speaking to? An Exalted Man? A river? A mirror?

I take a deep breath, polarize the hull plating, and step into my burdens. That offensive light enshrouds me.

It is okay, whispers the Current. I understand. I am with you. You are okay.

A lone neutrino vibrates a neuron.

Microcosm-- A Poem

Microcosm

Look at you, father.

Do you know how beautiful

And awful you are?

Do you know the

Impact your smile has?

Do you know the

Force your touch has?
Do you know how

Deafening your silence is?

Oh beautiful father, do you know

That your money is waste,

And your job is distance,

Your time is the essence

of the meaning of presence

And the heart of meaning?

Your child, she

Is an expanding universe.

She

Is a new world revolving.

A new world?

And you are her sun

The principle of her generation

The new light of heaven

in a new creation.

Father, beauty

Is your heart at one with kindness,

Beauty

Is your meaning become silence

Your love become touch

Your joy become smile

Oneness with God in spirit

And ugliness

Is your silence divided in emptiness,

Your touch of hatred and bruises,

Your smile disingenuous,

The duality of wickedness.